Be careful by choosing your partner.
Socrates proclamed, funnily : "Every time, marry her : if she become a good wife, you will be happy; if not, you become philosophe, wich is excellent for man". Of course, we can to reverse sex in this sentence!
But is not it better to choose of entrance the good one?
Seven direct recommendations :
The marriage can be difficult even when two persons are fervently in love one of the other one. It is mortal when it have not this foundation to build above.
"We needed one of the other one, we did not leave any more, our lives became entangled, and so the love was born". (Vincent Van Gogh)
You can plan to change him(her) in the future, but it will not probably arrive. The deep behavior was formed during the childhood, and it is very difficult to modify them.
Consequently, if you are not able of living with a characteristic which shows itself before wedding, it can undermine you for the rest of your life.
For example, here are some alerts that you'll not to ignore: The one who drinks every evening, who is insane with money, who is fundamentally impure, who tends to be violent when he is irritated or who is extremely selfish. : What you see is what you get (WYSIWYG) : this is true for mariage also! Of course, everybody have imperfections, I am not suggesting that a person must be perfect to be a candidate in the marriage.
Rather, my point of view is that you have to decide if you can tolerate a whimsical behavior for all the rest of your life - because it is the time which you'll maybe have to compose with it...
I cannot think of a better way of wasting your life that to make a crucial decision without an attentive reflection. Remind yourselves that the associates are drawn to hide from the information, not to reveal it. Both partners appear under their best day in front of the person for whom they try to attract. They keep the secrets which could induce some aversion. Consequently, several newly-weds have a big surprise first year of their marriage. I suggest that you set at least on one year to go behind the facade and really know the internal character of the person.
You can hope to gain your spouse in your religion later, and it arrives occasionally. But it is risked, even rash, to trust above. And you must never require a conversion to yours.
This is true for all the
... It undermines the relation and often leads to the divorce. A studies, based on 50 years of information, show that those who live together before the marriage are 50 % more chance to divorce that those who do not make it. [I would qualify this recommendation: settle down together is not it a way of knowing better?]
Those who get married too young are twice as subject to the divorce as those who wait about twenty. Some qualities are required to make a family and they come only with the maturity, some the altruism, the stability and the self-control.
If you choose to get married, do it with a hard resolution to remain committed one to another for all your life. Never threaten to leave your partner when you are irritated. Do not allow to consider the possibility of a divorce.
" The marriage is not a means to avoid the suffering, but to suffer in a precise purpose. " (Mike Mason)
I would also include the sense of humor as essential matter. She / he must know how to be able to laugh, without taking itself too seriously...
Be very attentive to the motivations of your partner: does not
he have a powerful motive to marry you by interest? In particular, if he is a
foreigner, does not he want, by the marriage, obtain simply the
right to live in your country?
It is true what says Guth!
Some of these advices are translated from http://www.croixsens.net/sexe/...
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